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Only a Matter of Time

December 10, 2010

I’m trying my best to look you in the eyes and smile

To get things right this time

Trying my best to be the strongest

and make it out more than alive.

Trying not to let my hands shake

as I reach out to touch precious things,

to take your hand in mine,

or to heal another, when I feel I’m losing my way.

But I feel it’s inevitable, that I at least stumble,

or that I fall along the way,

because after all, I’m only human, only so strong,

and at my strongest, that’s not enough to carry it all

all on my own.

It’s only a matter of time before I let you down

before you seek shelter and find rain

before you seek a smile and find a frown

before you seek my strength and feel my pain.

It’s only a matter of time until I’m too weak to hold you

and I’ll need to be held myself.

It’s only a matter of time before I say I’m sorry for falling

and try to make it into right standing again.

Promise me you won’t let me try to act so strong,

promise me you won’t seal me into this way of living,

where I try to be the best and strongest,

and feel like I fail when I drop the charade.

It’s only a matter of time until I reach out

and ask you to take all that I am

trust you with everything I am

because that’s all I want to be.

With my strengths and flaws, with my hurts and my best,

take my beauty and all the ugly rest,

it’s only a matter of time

before I ask you to love “just me.”

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