h1

What May Be

June 19, 2014

I haven’t written in a very long time and I’m getting back into it. I’m feeling like I have a lot to say and a lot more now that I think about before I ever say it. Must be getting older! Someone told me that would happen. 

This is “What May Be”

 

What May Be

You have watched me bloom out,
My petals in the sun.
I waited for the day to shine
I saw my share of rain and dust.
Is it hard to believe that I have a dream in me?
I was made to give and grow.
From my roots that drink the rain to my sweet sunshine smile
I was made to dream.
In the deepest part of me
Where no one else can see I hold promises for tomorrow-
A field of joy
The table of a bride
A mother’s gift
A final goodbye
A get well token
A fragrant apology
All waiting in the core of me to be found.
You watched me bloom out
Held my head up high..made me believe. 
My roots run deep, drink in the earth, and taller I grow still.
Still inside, the essence of me, beyond the beauty of the blossoms and leaves, are the seeds.
My inner potential, my locked-away dreams.
There’s no telling what may be.
Some may never see the light of the sun or drink the rain.
Some will fall to the earth in vain…
But some will take root deep somewhere
And they will grow
And drink
And be warmed by the sun
While deep inside every one
Is the potential for more to be done.
These are the ever growing things
The life I am to give to this earth–
Is right now just a little seed.

h1

Come Home

April 11, 2012

Someday I know you will come home
When I’m walking on the edge of the water
When I’m grinding my daily flour.
Someday I know you’ll come home
Because I can taste you in the air
I feel you with the wind as it lifts and spins my hair
I know you’ll come home.
Until you do, I carry you in a song I have sung since we’ve been apart.
Until you do, I pray for you in the holy space between every beat of my heart.
On the day you come home, I’ll be ready and waiting, with the scent you love floating in the air,
With the first flowers you gave me wrapped within my hair
Watching the sun dance on the hills,
Standing guard until the air chills.
When I see your form glide on the horizon under the wide, loving sky,
I will run with everything I have to meet you
And though it will be these thousand nights’ dreams coming true,
I will love your true sight even more,
Holding you, breathing you in like never before.
My heart has been heavy without your light,
But in these storms my love soars high like a kite.
I have found what I can never deny,
A soul, a life, to love for all time.

h1

Remember Love

August 1, 2011

Remember…
We learned to be uncomfortable with ourselves. We learned to question if we were allowed to be happy and we learned to accept less than respect. We learned that we deserve mistreatment and abuse. We learned to hate parts of or all of ourselves and perhaps to hate and mistreat others.
But remember…
Even though we learned all of these things, we CAN get back to love. We can get back the freedom of being uninhibited and loving ourselves EVERY day. We make mistakes but we aren’t less valuable. We make some bad decisions but we don’t deserve to be mistreated, abused, or abandoned. Don’t abandon yourself or the light and life buried beneath these lies and this hurt. We do know how to love. We forget because these tragedies overwhelm us. We aren’t powerless. We must stop the cycle now. We must accept and love ourselves today, unconditionally, and love others without reservations. Chances are, the people who taught us the lies are broken by someone or something else and need this love themselves. Remember love, and the result will be undeniable and unforgettable peace.

h1

Where Did the Time Go?

June 24, 2011

Where did the time go?
Don’t worry, I’m not complaining–
I’m actively refraining from denying these days.
Heavens, where does the time go?
Into the heavens with my hopes,
stored there to rain with the coming floods.
Into the heavens with my hopes,
lighting my sky when darkness falls.
When I close my eyes, these bright times play in my mind
I never fast-forward, only replay and rewind.
I won’t undermine my future
with haphazard dreams on star-filled nights.
My wakeful heart is the better architect of time.
No matter where the sun goes or how hard the rain falls
I don’t let go of hope,
it makes me strong enough to handle my doubts.
It tunes my ears to hear you call.
I fall and skin my pride, wear my mask so I can cry.
Your truth burns it away
The truth in you burns my prideful lies away.
Now I’m standing on the edge,
where you wait for me always,
calling me to adventures I can’t concieve.
And I’m rebuilding one day at a time,
swinging through this jungle of mine, on this lifeline.
I know you’re here, you’ve got me wrapped up in love,
making my weakness strong, making my heartbeat true.
I know you’re here, you’ve got me wrapped up in love,
making my weakness strong, making me like you.

h1

Six Months Later

June 23, 2011

I learned the following over the six months since I last wrote.

You’re everything at this moment that every other moment has brought you to–your attitudes and your choices while interacting with  the environment you’re in have contributed to the “you” you are today.

Be proud of where you are, and be thankful for who and what brought you there.

The world is a big place…and life is a big deal. It’s an adventure. “You get to choose your own adventure.”–Professor Dawn Pickard, Oakland University. You can choose and choose again. Each day can be its own adventure and contain as many adventures as you choose–it all depends on one thing. What do you see as an adventure? Is it what you’re doing, or how mindful you are of it, how much you cherish it, and the company you’re in?

Today is yesterday’s tomorrow, so for all the times we said “Tomorrow”, today is our day. We can’t wait any longer, because another tomorrow is waiting, and tomorrow deserves its own promises, not leftovers that we fear to fulfill.

There’s nothing wrong with dreaming of the future or putting dreams into action.

When it’s difficult…

  • Ask for help. Really.
  • It’s probably worthwhile.
  • Do it anyway.
  • Ask yourself why it’s difficult, then work on resolving the “why”.
  • Realize it could be worse.
  • Find the goodness in it.

It’s ok to relax. So do it.

Live in the moment. Don’t worry about the past or the future or the 300 “items of urgency” competing for your attention. No matter how good or bad the past or future is, or how much you enjoy the busy pace, there is such great joy or such great significance in some of the moments we experience that we let slip away because we are preoccupied. Enjoy THIS moment.

‎1 Corinthians 13:4-7 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

‎”Nothing worth anything ever goes down easy.” –Mat Kearney

You don’t need all the answers to be happy.–Success is a process and sometimes it isn’t cookie cutter–sometimes there’s trial and error involved. Success is going past the errors, pressing on, and learning from your mistakes. So, you might get the answers eventually, but not without a lot of hard work. If you can be happy without the answers and happy while you’re in the process of building success, you’re on a great track.

‎”Be something you love and understand.”–Lynyrd Skynyrd, “Simple Man”

I believe in me, and that doesn’t mean I have to be perfect. I believe in waking up and looking at myself in the mirror, but not because I think I’m right or flawless. It’s because I’m willing to be honest, to face my mistakes and to move on. I believe in me and the me I’ve become, and I believe I’m far from finished.

1 John 4:18–Perfect love drives out all fear.

“Love the life you live, live the life you love.” –Bob Marley

h1

Only a Matter of Time

December 10, 2010

I’m trying my best to look you in the eyes and smile

To get things right this time

Trying my best to be the strongest

and make it out more than alive.

Trying not to let my hands shake

as I reach out to touch precious things,

to take your hand in mine,

or to heal another, when I feel I’m losing my way.

But I feel it’s inevitable, that I at least stumble,

or that I fall along the way,

because after all, I’m only human, only so strong,

and at my strongest, that’s not enough to carry it all

all on my own.

It’s only a matter of time before I let you down

before you seek shelter and find rain

before you seek a smile and find a frown

before you seek my strength and feel my pain.

It’s only a matter of time until I’m too weak to hold you

and I’ll need to be held myself.

It’s only a matter of time before I say I’m sorry for falling

and try to make it into right standing again.

Promise me you won’t let me try to act so strong,

promise me you won’t seal me into this way of living,

where I try to be the best and strongest,

and feel like I fail when I drop the charade.

It’s only a matter of time until I reach out

and ask you to take all that I am

trust you with everything I am

because that’s all I want to be.

With my strengths and flaws, with my hurts and my best,

take my beauty and all the ugly rest,

it’s only a matter of time

before I ask you to love “just me.”

h1

List it

November 3, 2010

Ran out of things to say for a little while–things that would sound beautiful and poetic, at least.

Sometimes it’s hard for me to accept that people just want to hear something uplifting for a little while–when I don’t have anything too remarkable to say or just a mix of thoughts, sometimes I’d rather just keep them to myself.

Something just kept telling me to write, like I needed to in order to sleep–like I needed to write just like I need to breathe, so I came here.

I typed endlessly, and there was no way to share in quite an understadable way what’s on my heart.

So I’m making a list of statements, and each one is its own little thought.

1.  I will never again try to estimate the impact of a decision on my present or future, because I will overestimate and/or underestimate each time.

2. Forgiveness is the sweetest thing I could ever know. When Love forgives it doesn’t leave room for doubt.

3. I am a human and will always be one. Thank God I don’t have to have all the answers or be perfect. That wouldn’t be anywhere near a good learning experience.

4. The only thing you should expect yourself to do daily is to expect the unexpected. Change comes quickly but your reaction remains for a long time.

5. Bravery isn’t the ability to act with no regard or no fear. Bravery is the choice to do what is required for a result that is not guaranteed for a reason one cannot deny.

6. God can. End of story.

7. Acting in a way that promotes the well-being of people first, to me, is righteousness.

8. God created people to love God and love other people. In good faith, that has to be my standard.

9. Time is on my side.

 

That’s all, folks.